I Accuse ... Me!

I accuse me of blindness ..

I accuse me of deafness ..

I accuse me of falling in for hate ...

I accuse me of allowing my hate for an ideology to cloud my humanity ...

I accuse me of losing my moral compass ...

I accuse me of delaying an overdue apology ...

I write of my reaction to the loss of life and the suffering associated with ending the sit-in protest of the Muslim Brotherhood and their supporters at Rabba in Nasr City, in Cairo, Egypt in August 2013. 

The ideology of the Muslim Brotherhood is repugnant to me, an fundamentally supremacist ideology that cloaks its far right Islamic nationalism with a theological cover. It claims to speak for my faith, lures the unsuspecting pious idealists into the cult and then uses the ugliest of the "end justifies the means" tactics to advance its cause. A throw back to the fascist and nationalist movements of the early Twentieth Century that seemed to have successfully reformed itself in the 1970's, under the leadership of the late Omar Telmessany, but shortly after his death reverted back to its ugly roots. In short, I reject Muslim Brotherhood as an ideology and practice with every bone in my body. 

My hate for the ideology is more intense because I had, wrongly, believed that the Muslim Brotherhood had indeed reformed itself and remained faithful to the Telmessany Doctrine; I was willing to support Mr. Morsi as President of Egypt after listening to his early speeches which echoed that doctrine. Little did I know, I and millions of other Egyptians were duped and as events unfolded, it became abundantly  clear that the Telmessany reforms were buried with him, the Brotherhood and Mr. Morsi wanted to build their state, wanted to co-opt the tools of democracy build their fascist state, they tasted power and would never give it up. From their early days, the Brotherhood viewed violence and assassinations as legitimate tools, always denied them at the time, but later took immense pride in them. Accordingly I don't believe their claim to peacefulness and their denunciation of violence, the doctrine they live by clearly allows violence despite of their protestations to the contrary. 

Yet, the vast majority of the supporters of the Muslim Brothers have never actually taken part in any violent act themselves and many actually abhor violence; they have been duped, seduced by the machine in the name of God and Islam, they are victims too. Maybe even they are not victims and are "all on in it" together, how would that justify the scale of the bloodshed. 

The Rabba protest was a disgusting invasion into the lives of the residents of the area, it had to have been dispersed and the use of force, on the part of the state, against a sit-in that was not entirely peaceful, was inevitable. Any Egyptian who has ever encountered a demonstration of the Brotherhood and their supporters knows of their thuggery and the fear they instill in those who do not support them, let alone dare oppose them. Rabba protest had to be dispersed, but what about the cost? How much killing was too much?

I want to apologize, for the anger I felt did not allow me to see clearly the horrible scale. I remain convinced that the Muslim Brotherhood wanted a massacre of their own people, they wanted martyrs and to use the blood of their martyrs to wash the sins of the period of Mr. Morsi and Mr. Katatany as leaders of the executive and legislative branches conspiring to make the Brotherhood rule permanent. Their own complicity and cruelty should not have silenced me ... Should have not blinded me to the horrible suffering. I never gloated at the death, was not entirely indifferent to it either, but was not as shaken by it as others who are also opposed to the Brotherhood have. My hate lost me a part of my humanity!

I write these words as many Egyptians celebrate another nail in the coffin of the Brotherhood, for this is perhaps their darkest hour. The streets of Egypt are full of people celebrating the crowning of the man the Brotherhood loath the most. Yet, I owe them too an apology for my lack of outrage at the scale of the killings and the suffering. This is an apology to all those who suffered and their families, not to the organization or its Machiavellian leadership.  I owe further apology to my friends and relatives, who were never affiliated with the Brotherhood and actually opposed them, but unlike me, their hatred for an ideology did not blind them to the scale of the carnage, did not mask their soles as it did mine.

I accuse me ...still of not being as human as some of my beautiful friends and family and many of the amazing activists of Egypt, you are all better human beings than me, for in mind I see the cruelty and injustice but my anger and hate still stands in my way, thank you for being a guiding light!

AA

June 6, 2014